Tuesday, June 28, 2005
2:50 AM
Indigo
Istimewa
Tiada puisi atau lagu
Tiada potret tiada ragu
Yang dapat ku ilham seindahmu
Nyata kau satu dalam berjuta
Wahai jelita kau istimewa
Walau ku kembara sedunia
Walau ketemu ramai wanita
Nyata kau tiada tandingannya
Seikhlas hati aku menyinta
Kau istimewa, teristimewa
Daku berikrar
Wahai maharaniku
Bina mahligai syahdu
Hanya engkau dan aku di situ
Tiada mimpi atau fantasi
Tiada rasa lebih berseri
Semekar murni hatimu sayang
Siang dan malam, aku terbayang
Kau istimewa, buat ku tenang
Daku berikrar
Wahai maharaniku
Bina mahligai syahdu
Kita berbulan madu di situ
Ingin ku bawa kau ke awana
Ingin memadu kasih asmara
Sepanjang hayatku curah cinta
Sebenar-benar ucapan kata
Kau istimewa oh! Percayalah
Ku perlu cinta dari wanitaku nan istimewa
Beriku cintamu nan istimewa
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
Monday, June 27, 2005
6:03 AM
haix......27 of june huh???well.....haix......nuthin to sae..onli memories....haix.....nisa...i miz euu......take care ok..
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
had a session wid da crew jz nw....actuali,it was kinda a chillin session..lepak2..haha...iz was kinda sad wen he stumbled apon his old blog,wen hyaz sae she luv him soo much..he muz b in tears at dat time..i understand how he muz hav felt..wen through it too...still remeber wen nisa told me dat she not gonna leave me aft wad we both hav done n been through....but in da end........yeah..hmmmmmmm..haha...last dae...b4 da school reopen..totally not soo prepared 4 it..n im soo dead...reli2 dead...can sae i hav to prepare 4 ma grave oredi....2moro will reli b a loooooooonnngggggg dae 4 me...haha....confirm i will hav a lunch date or even a breakfast widd da D.M,ma form teacher,n da V.P...haha....die...die.....die........haha....guess it was kinda ma fault...didn cum 4 da classes in da holidaes...none..well,da 1st wk i was sick n da 2nd wk,well......hehehehehehehe...(big grin)lazy sia go sch..beta stay at hm and slp..well,i knw i will hav 3 mnths of it aft ma o lvl..hmmm...den i will decide to go to poly or da N.I.E.....to bcum a teacher...hmmm.....well,kinda slpt early jz nw..iz n juff was chattin n i was in bed oredi slpin wen ma bro wake me up tellin me dat i had an IM frm em....so,in ma slppin mode,i climbed dwn ma bed n go to ma comp n had to tell em dat im reli tired n jz sae nites n log off..i hope dey arent too pissed off...yarr...haha...so nw im wide awake at 4:58 in da mornin typin tis stupid post.n waitin 4 da time to leave da house n meet ma doom.but b4 dat,i think im gonaa ring up iz,wanna join em 4 breakfast at serangoon circus...yeah...prata...hahahaha......gonna taste soo nice.at least got sum food in ma stomach b4 da long lectures n stuff..hahaha..kla....gonna 5 am oredi..mum gonna wake up soon...muz act slpin....haha.......
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
well.....da 2st dae of sch....kinda sucks..soo many changes....V.P decided to change da homeroom system,so it meant dat da whole dae we will b usin da same classroom..n it oso meant dat we cnt walk arnd animore.oooo damn.....den aft da assembly ma art teacher kol me out,askin y i didn go 4 da classes...i was like all quiet.....even da V.P is lookin at me...surely 2moro V.P gona kol all da sec 4E/5na to hav a personal talk n will kol out to those hu didn cum 4 da classes....hmm.haix....den muz carry a big cuboard frm da old classroom..fuck sia....1st dae shirt dirty oredi...den muz bring home da breakdance mat..ma teacher dun wan to keep in da classroom animore..haix...muz bring home..carry like wad sia...den wen to compasspoint n lepak2/chill over there....at 1st had quite a few laughs but den soon,everyone was like all dead oredi...like da soul got suck out of da body...hahs...hmm....soo many changes..so lil time..malay o lvl orals in 2 days...yarr....eng prelims oral nex mnth n da o lvl oral is nex mnth....wow....like soo fast...onli 4 mnths left to o lvls.....2 mnths to prelims...haix......stress sia.....
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
Sunday, June 26, 2005
3:14 AM
well..jz got home..reli tired...family got barbecue session at east coast...i kinda alighted at da wrong busstop n muz walk at least,hmmm 1 or 2 km to reach da place.den i ran to da place topless.haha...weeeheeeee..sum stayed overnight,but ma dad didn wan to..so we muz go home..so here i am now..sittin at home starin at da comp,writin tis post..hmm..alot of things happen lately.change da blog skin n change da song too.its nisa fav song.yar..my everything by 98degress...haixxx..how i miz her
breakdance:
finally mastered criket n make ma 'seven' more tight.n oso dat,tryin to tighten ma mills..make sure its totally no handed so i can try da munch or nutcracker..haha..mcm bagus gitu..
family:
well,ma fam prob kinda settle 4 nw..haix..reli pity em..guess i hav to sell ma handphone to help em..at least get a few hundred bucks 4 ma k700i hp..reli..ma mum keep cryin on da phone n to us,ma dad dunno wad to do..but hey,at least we're stil a family n we ok...lurve ones go through thick n thin together n not abandon em wen they need each other...hmm..
me:
i reli dunno wads happening..im reli confused rite nw....i knw i miss her...i knw i miss nisa..i knw ma prev post i said dat i 4gottn abt her and all those shit.but i will nvr 4get her..even if i pretend dat i've move on,she will alwaz b ma baby nisa..n i lurve her..n to make da matter worse,i hav been dreamin of her 4 daes straight..i reli dunno..1st nite,i dreamt dat we met.2nd nite,i dreamt dat she emailed me..3rd nite,she msg me...n da 4th nite,we met again..wad is fate tryin to sae??dat i miz her soo bad dat i dreamt of her..mayb it is true..but i reli dunno...i reli dunoo..im in a daze rite nw..i miz her voice..her laughter n her smile wen i counted to 3..seein her smile last time reli makes ma heart melt..haix..in ma previous post,i wrote dat i jz camp back frm a camp..yar..it was kinda fun ar..but it is oso sad to knw dat im leavin ma 'family' of npcc bhind..but not da ones hu backstabbed me n stuffs...wen i left,i stayed near da road n sit on da railin,seein da cadets gettin last min punishments n da wae dey do area cleanin.reminds me wen i was at dat stage.,.n i will surely miz trainin da younger cadets..da power,da fun knwin dat u're passin dwn ur knwledge to da young generations reli makes me hapi..there will alwaz this strange feelin of satisfaction n those hu hav thought others b4,will knw it too..dats y i luv teachin..dats y i wan to bcum a teacher...dats y...haix..hmm..haven done ma homework yet..didnt even touch a single thing..haha...laughter..its seems an eternity to hav me laugh wifout me forcin it or even hav dat feelin to happi..im jz alone..lonely.....reli lonely..in da buses sumtimes,i miz da feelin of sumone i lurve sittin nex to me..sumone i can lean on..sumone i can hug..jz dat special sumone...all i can do nw is jz hope dat she hav found sumone new hu she truly lurves n appreciate..sumone hu will return it to her..dats all i wish 4..4 her to b happi..its ok if im sad.alone..or wadeva shit..but 4 her to b hapi,dats ma wish 4 nw....
so nw,i guess i gotta jz concentrate on ma o lvls...yar..mayb..hope i reli did well 4 ma malay paper...had a sudden gastric attack on dat fateful dae...haix....sumtimes i reli wonder y ma life is like tis...reli...i reli wonder seriously...hmmm....
n of all things i wonder...wad are gals thinkin of..wen they go on on a relationship wif a boi,wad is their main motive..to luv?to b wif dat sumone?4 experience?or jz plain revenge??...i reli dunno...if wad they are doin jz to hav dat idea of doin to others like wad their ex did to em,y muz they do tis to us..are da boys not even human at all??we hav feelins...we hav emotions...we are humans...so gals,y are u all doin tis to us??do u like it wen ur x or ur boi dumped u,cheated on u??of course no rite..unless ur reli a bitch...but hey,if u all dun like it,den wad abt da boys??we dun like it too...we gave u luv..we gave to care..we concern abt u...bein there wen u need us,but in da end,u jz dump us like useless junk dat dun hav any feelin...cmon gals...if u think u all can survive wifout a man one dae,den imagine da world onli populated by girls n women...haix...i reli wonder...
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
Saturday, June 25, 2005
4:35 AM
It feels so lonely without you near,
I want to be with you, right now, right here.
It's hard to live without feeling your touch,
I want you now, I miss you so much.
As I count the days, it's been so long.
I start to break down as they play our song.
I'd give anything and everything just to be with you,
Just to gaze into your eyes, our love would feel so true.
Every night as I look out and wish upon a star,
I wish you were here and not out and afar.
You're always on my mind, you're the only one I think of,
Just me and you, you're the only one I love.
I miss you so much, I can't stand the pain,
Without your warmth, I stand alone in the rain.
Although I miss you, I'm glad you're mine,
I miss your sexy ways, as our bodies intertwine.
I'll see you again, I'll see you someday,
You'll be in my heart and forever you'll stay.
I'm missing you now, every second, every minute, every hour, every day.
But, don't ever forget that I'm loving you always.
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
11:04 PM
well back frm camp....tiring sey.,....1st our passin out parade.yeah......but shockin news......da bittch bcum S.I????????station inspector?omg......seriously..ts reli unfair.....da fuckin teacher onli intervied 2 person 4 da person,wen da rules stated dat da whole batch muz b interviewed.....wad tis shit sey???fuck ar....nvrm...den is da campfire...again,she showed her 'power' n boss everyone arnd....den we had our barbecue session n lastly 4 da nite,a movie marathon..watch ice age n spiders2...stupid sia...til 3am...den we board da bus,n go changi airport..play treasure hunt...4 in da mornin..ma grp won 2nd place,by 1min...wad sey...nvrm.den go changi beach,watch sunrise n had breakfast..den we went to ma 2nd home.yeah..da ESPALNADE.haha..did sum banner thingy shit til 12.30pm....den we went to boon lay n had lunch n den wen to lim chu kang...da cemetery place there n march....march.,.,march....march.until we went back....n had AIS CREAM...hahah...yeah....kla...too tired...dam tired.....
haix..n wumthing happened....i dreamt of nisa yest..haix....reli miz her...her smile n her laughter.....how i wish i cld see her again...haix
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
Monday, June 20, 2005
3:13 AM
haix....i knw sum ppl may sae dat i sigh ofte..but PPL.......IM BACK!!!!!!haha..yeah da looney in back...back to his normal state...not sick animore..not heartbroken animore...well gotta move on...m i rite?yeah......haha.....well.....long time didnt post.....had sum issues to settle...n oso m sick...yar..reli bad..haha.....reli glad dat i've recovered..wads left onli are da headaches..well.nomore nisa here.....yeah.....da pics,da keychain i specially order to bear da name 'faznisa',da heart-shaped clay pot i made 4 her...all gone...no not in da bin..haha....im not dat crazee..hehe....well,it goes inside a container where i put all ma pics of ma ex...yup2..dats where it goes...ainna,hamidah,nisa...yup....all in da past nw...move on....haha........its not ma loss.....its hers.......i did all i could,but she was da one hu left me,so be it..i can stil survive.....im nt dead m i nw eventhough 1 mnth hav past.......hmmmm..yeahh...thnz to da peeps hu hav been givin me advices.....fezra,thnk u soo much..may u n ma bro b hapi alwaz....amira cuzzin,thx oso 4 alwaz hearin ma complaints..haha.so sori didn cum jz nw.....reli2 sowie....make it up to u 1 dae..leo..thnx 4 alwaz bein there 4 me wen i need u,im sori wen i reli get kinda stubborn..so sori...iz,thx oso...haha...been through alot tis yr had we??well,dats jz how life works...hmmm...n ma cutie idah,thx 4 bein there 4 me wen i needed u most..n thx 4 lendin me ur shoulders 4 me to cry on at dat time..reli appreciate it soo much...thnk u......hmm..hu else......well if i left out sumone,i wanna sae sori......n dat i sae thnk u so much too....wifout u all,i wldnt be hu i am 2dae......thnx....hmmmmm...2moro da npcc got camp,POP, n passin out parade,n oso a guitar performance wif fazli..yeah.....but im onli b goin on tues..well,dats wad almost everyone wants me to do,1 last appearance..ok,i'll do it 4 u guys..hehe...miz me ehk???woahhhh..hahaha...to da sec 1 batch here,i jz hope da new batch of ncos are gud to u all.if not,jz cum to papa here k..haha....n i will take care of it..haha...well,1 thing 4 sure,im not gonna tok to is ma batch...wanna knw y?coz i HATE u all...backstabbers,liars,two-faced ppl....hate u all....not includin hanis,hamidah,durga n marian n marcus....u guys are great....but da rest.....i wish u all go n die....n
PERSONAL MSG TO QIAOYI:hey bitch...i hate u..dun thinkk so called 'HEAD OF TRAININ',im afraid of u k..go to hell ar..act gud onli..bhind teachers n C.Is,bad-mouth abt em...bitch...yar..n im not da onli person kolin u dat..da resst too...hu??ma sec 1 cadets..da ma previous sec 1 cadets(sec 2).......yar..dats hu.......got prob widd me??dun go to teachers...cum straight to me...understand bitch????to think ms tan chose u instad of me coz ur more so called 'fierce'...go fuck ur mom arh..4 wad fierce if no respect..dumbass...go n die la...nvrm..nex yr,i will b back as a C.I.......CADET INSPECTOR..understand dat??higher den u..im not gonna b hearin ur nonsense nimore..its u hu will.....got aniother prob???cum2....im at all ears....u bitch
PERSONAL MSG TO EILEEN:eileen i may b wrong at times,but partners dun go tokin bhind each other backs..i nvr did dat..but u did.im sori 4 ma mistakes,but i will nvr 4give u 4 goin to qiao yi n bad-mouth me..to think wen u cum to me tokin abt qiaoyi,i lend ma ears...but u stabbed me..i was hurt...it was ur mistake too k..u wasnt there..i searched 4 u,n u wasnt there,so da C.I asked me to take ova...y muz u do tis..haix...
PERSONAL MSG TO DA REST OF MA BATCH(RELATED):well u guys,i got nuthin to sae xcept u all reli are idiots....im was gone rehearsin 4 ma breakdance performance 4 a CC n there u all sae dat its coz nisa was out there n i gotta see her..its not.UNDERSTAND??well,go on n support da bitch,qiao yi,i hope u all are happy....i wun tok to u all tis camp...mark ma words..commucation onli wen its important..n im not goin to perform widd u guys 4 da campfire...im gonna to do it on ma own wif fazli..we're goin to perform n sing songs on our guitar...go n die..i would nvr wan to perform wif u all....
well....haha...i think dats all....it 3+ oredi in da mornin..haha....im nw like an owl..mornin slp,nite awake...haha.well...til here......bye2.mwahssssss
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
2:05 AM
well....hehe.....sumthing funi jz happen to me at 1.48am..heheh....ouch.....i knw i shld b restin..if ma parents knw im usin da comp..im sooooo dead..sooo sooo veri dead...been sick..reli sickk...migraines..severe headaches..n sumtimes it reli get reli painfull til i muz close ma eyes real tight n hold ma head in pain n fall on ma knees if im standin..haix..wad does tis means??wad does it??...haix...well,ma nose is bleedin badly nw...jz happened..cant type properly..heheh..silly me...muz hold ma nose wif ma shirt n look up..tryin to stop da bleedin...dunno wad happen also...im havin flu..so i thought its onli ma nucus...onli wen im replyin a msg to ma mum den i knw dat ma hand hav blood on it..n its frm ma nose..heheh...nice......heheh..i dun even knw wen it happened..i jz knw dat i suddenly had tis huge headache n ma nose got sumthing flowin out..like i said..i thought it was onli ma nucus...but it appeared not to b...heheh......hmmmmmm...wads happenin...lalalalala...2moro got sch....hahah..2wks didn go...confirm cikgu maki hamun nye...hahah...dun care...tk kisah...kla...gtg...mush rest...or jz cont playin comp games..heheh......hmm..decide leta....4 nw...ciaoz....
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
Monday, June 13, 2005
1:54 AM
sumtimes,life jz sux aint it?..wen it seems dat u hav finally found dat sumone,dat reli special sumone,dat person will leave u jz like dat...sum ppl may agree,n sum may not..but i knw wad i've been through...wks of hell...wks of sufferins..wks of pain..wks of sadness...i cnt believe it had finally ended..finally....i dun blame her..i dun hate her..everything seems to b ma fault..well,hu wld wan a ugly,dumb,blur n sissy boi like me hu even make lame jokes...no one..m i rite?but wad can i do..even if go 4 plastic,i will stil b da same person deep inside...god has made me like tis,n i wun change it..everyone has their own strength n weakness..n i knw mine..i..i dunno wad m i gonna do nw..everything is gone..its like im jz waitin 4 death to cum n get me...i hav been sufferin frm severe headache recently..n hu knws,wad im sufferin frm..haix...
recently,ma cuzzin suffer a huge blow to her life..n tis aint no cock n bull story jz to tell...it was ssoo sad..they hav a long wae to go..so many things to do,but da person she lurved so much left her..no..its not 'left' as if they broke up..it's da 'left' as in her luv died...it was da hardest thing she hav to face..n i reli felt sori 4 her..reli do..they alwaz seem to b reli hapi together...enjoyin da ups n dwns of a relationship can give..he died early tis wk...he died of brain tumour...it was so sad wen she saw da video her fren took during da times her luv was dyiing..she cnt take it n broke dwn...haix..mentionin tis,i remember da times wen nisa n ma other cuzzin decided to pair up n trick me into believin dat she had brain tumour too...cnt xplain how i reli felt at dat time...i was so damn sad..i luv her so much.n i dun eva wan to lose her.to think i even pray 4 her..jz to knw dat dey had tricked me...well its ok...i let it go..haix..
den ma another cuzzin,hu had been together 4 more den 4 yrs....they are even engaged n supposed to get married tis yr...sumtime arnd tis mnth..but it wasnt their fate n they broke up..i can see da look n ma cuzzin eyes n face...everytime there's a family gatherin,he wld jz gaze n gaze..even wen he's havin fun wif us,there will alwaz b sadness in his eyes..n noone can blamed him..noone can...i understand how he muz hav felt..its reli hard to lose sumbody u lurved all ur heart..to give up spendin time wif ur fam jz to b wif dat special person..n sacrificed so much 4 them..to give em ur full trust n luv..to care 4 em..to treat em as ur own spouse..n put in so much hope in da relationship,dat sumdae u both wld get married n in da end,both go their seperate waes,4gettin da times dey spent wif each other..da times they were together..both happily together,not carin abt how many ppl are against their relationship or how many ppl dun think they are a good n cute couple..
its da same 4 nisa n me...27 of april..it will alwaz b remembered as da most wonderful dat happened to me..it was da dae dat i made a decision dat reli change ma life..goin through wonderful n rough times together have shwn me many things dat a relationship has to offer...on da bright side,will b:hope,luv,trust,n things dat i cnt express in words..on da other sad wld b:betrayal n stuffs...i fell in lurve wif her..she was ma 1st eva true luv outta of all ma relationship..i hav nvr felt tis strong abt a girl b4..i lurved her..i care 4 her..haix...
i nvr sae tis to anione,but i guess i hav to finally sae tis....b4 our relationship ends,i dun even felt dat we were like a couple nomore..da reason is not dat i dun trust her nor i was cheatin on her...it was also not coz i dun lluv her like b4 nor coz i dun think dat she dun luv me animore..it was coz da wae we were communicatin...we kept havin frequent arguements.,we fought.n we wasnt communicating like b4..like wen i 1st knw her..da old nisa..da nisa hu i fell 4 n luv..da nisa hu seem alwaz so concern abt me even wen im sick..da nisa hu doesnt wants me to go to camps coz she dun wanna me not contactin her...wks b4 we broke up..she said dat her prepaid card was low..n it was wks b4 she did..i knw i trust her n i dun wanna think of negative things..if she eva lied to me or cheated on me,den onli god knws n,even i dun wwish 4 tis,well,may da almighty return her wad she did to me..let her feel da pain n betrayal dat i felt..haix..n wen she finally top up her card,it was onli a matter of daes her card bcame low,wen it alwaz took at least a wk n a few daes to finish it...haix..i was sad..i dun wanna sae it,but i jz keep mum..i jz leave it to god..i dunno anithing..im in tampines,while she's at jurong..a island apart..n i dun wanna jump to conclusions..da wae she msg me,is like she dun even bother animore..wen i bcame sad or depressed,she wld turn it to her own anger n use it on me..n in da end,i will b da one hu end up apologisin...i dun wanna hurt her..i nvr hav da intention to do dat,so once again,i jz keep quiet,knwin dat i stil luv her n dn wanna lose her..im afraid to lose her..soo afraid..haix..i wanna cont,but i knw i shldnt say tis all at da first place..i dun wanna leave a bad impression on her..coz,i still luv her..n dat she's not like how i described her..she's reli cool..hav a bubbly personality n dat extra sumthing dat reli makes me go all super hapi wen im wif her....haix..im soo in luv wif her till i went dwn on ma knees n proposed to her..slip da promise ring on her finger..coz i knw,i wld nvr eva wanna leave her..she was like ma own life..i luv her..i hav soo much hope in da relationship..i hope dat we b together 4eva..like she once said to me 'one dae,da dae will cum wen we will b together,live happily together n lead a happi family wif our own children,hakimi n ain.'..i will nvr 4get everything u said to mie...
nisa...tis is to euu...i jz wanna u knw dat aft all dat has happen,i still lurve u..i miz u soo much..i miz da smell of ur perfume,da smell of ur hair..ur smile..ur laughter..i miz euu....i still keep da pics dat we took together,hopin dat sumdae we will b together again..all of tis came sincerely frm ma heart...i luv u...n i wish u all da best nw...may u succeed in wad u do n hav a good n happi future...alwaz b da hap n bubbly gal dat i knw..life hav to move on..n i muz too..well...till here da story goes..i luv u...n will alwaz b waitin 4 ur return...gudbye nisa..gudbye to all da memories we had together.gudbye to all da promises we made...gudbye to eveything....gudbye.....
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
Sunday, June 12, 2005
12:39 AM
haix...wads happenin to me??y m i suddenly missin her soo badly???i cnt think of anithing else except 4 her...haix...i miz her soo much..n sumtimes i jz feel like i reli need her in ma arms..huggin her..lettin her knw how much i miz,need n luv her...i reli do..haix..da world seems so lonely wifout her in ma life each dae,as i wish 4 her return....i dun even knw wad happen to me...all ma frens hav been sayin im not like b4...da old me..da hapi me...i dunno..if ma frens on msn n frenster...dey kept askin wads wrong..n y i alwaz sound so sad n y ma pics alwaz seem soo lonely n sad...n no smile..even im smilin,dey can see da saddness in me eyes..haix...mayb all of em are correct...mayb i hv change...i knw i miz her..n sumtimes alone in da middle of da nite,i wld cry alone in ma room..haix..i miz her soo much...even if i pretend dat i move on,she will alwaz b part of me..i will nvr 4get her....n dey sae dat da onli times dat i seem hapi is wen im wif her....mayb all of it is true.haix......nisa....i miz u...soo much....haixx
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
Friday, June 10, 2005
1:15 AM
ASMARA INI
FAZLEY
Asmara ini yang hanyutkan cinta
Asmara ini yang hanyutkan aku
Biar seribu kali ku ucapkan
Tak akan goyah oh kebenaran
Tiada ku duga
Tiada Ku pinta
Semuanya berlalu
Sebegitu sahaja
Dan kini ku disiksa
Dalam api ini
Sungguh aku telah mengerti
Tak akan ku berlari
Salahkan sesuatu
Agar tidak dihantui oleh dosa-dosaku
Dan sememangnya mudah
Untuk ku lepaskan
Seandainya aku katakan
Asmara ini yang hanyutkan cinta
Asmara ini yang hanyutkan aku
Biar seribu kali ku ucapkan
Tak akan goyah oh kebenaran
Asmara ini yang hanyutkan cinta
Asmara ini yang hanyutkan aku
Walau seabad aku pertahankan
Tak akan goyah oh kebenaran
Inilah balasan untuk yang bersalah
Pedihnya ku rasakan dan hanya berserah
Cukup dengan sekali aku mengotori
Cinta kita hancur sudah
Hancur kini
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
3:56 AM
well its almost 3 nw...i dun even knw wads happenin to mie...ma life in a mess...skippin da holiday classes,even ma eachers keep kolin,i didn go.ma life is in a huge mess,n wen u left me gal,u reli pull me futher dwn.i need u soo much..n at dat time i need u more den eva..i knw u knw dat..i send u soo man emails b4 dat n even a letter..but u still left me...wen u knw im dwn aft failin ma chem paper...haix..y did u do tis to me???
heard dat ur leavin frm amy...haix...y?y muz u even tell me..u knw i cldnt bear to part wif u.haix..wen i heard da news,i can onli stare at da ceiliing n weni thought i almost got ova u,tears started rollin dwn ma eyes..i jz cnt blieve it..i jz cant....
YOU WERE MA 1ST LUV..I LUV U SOO MUCH BUT LEFT ME..I TREATED U LIKE MA OWN WIFE,FAMILY..I SACRIFICED SOO MANY THINGS BUT U LEFT..OH GOD.WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????
i luv u soo much..haix.,..mayb im jz meant to b lonely,wifout anione,wifout nobody...let me jz suffer...alone.....
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
1:25 AM
may 31.how times fly..wake up,slp,wake up,slp n its oredi da 31st of my.haix..yest was supposed to b a fun event for me....i knw,she was supposed to cum n i hope dat finally,she will get to meet ma parents,but it wasnt meant to b..haix..still remember wad i put on da invitation card,i wrote da invited ppl as 'mr & mrs fazly'....haix...to think dat we finally seperated..eventhough all ma cuzzins were there,it wasnt da same wen im wif her..mira was there n we seem kinda close.haha,ma aunties on ma mum side thought she was ma gal..haix..showed her da xacto knife dat i hav been playin wif.den she kinda confiscated it till she went home..da dae started frm a hapi event to an sad endin..i wake up early teasin ma bro..haha..den suddenly,i jz think of her..n ma mind went totally blank..i dunno wad to think.all i can do is jz put ma head dwn on da comp desk n hear sad songs...i miz her..so much..i wan her to return to me...haix..but fate dun let us...haix...y muz we b tis wae,seperated..ma heart hurts soo much...haix...oh god..y...oh y....
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*